How To Write Query Letters ... or, really, how to revise query letters so they actually work
The simpler the instructions, the more obvious the idiocy of the person who does not follow them.
................Really???This made me sad :(. Why, humanity? Why?
Can't say I'm surprised: I've seen people post their queries for real consideration in the comments of agent blogs.
There are no words...But fortunately, there is an acronym:TSTL.
Again I have to ask . . . . . . what were they thinking?
Three new queries today! I learn something with every one. You da best.
"The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits" - Albert EinsteinI have a question? What percentage of queries do you get that you reject in under 2 seconds because the person makes a **HTTP 404 - FATAL ERROR**You know..like ignoring guidelines, addressing it to the wrong person, opening the query with "Now hold onto you hats cos this is bigger'n The Bible!!!"...those dumb things that anyone with the internet and 5 minutes wouldn't do?word verification - Nonogy: The study of Nine
Wow...I am surprised you had to say this. You're already showing us awesome tips so to try and make you agitated just seems like a huge no no! I would hate for you to delete this blog because of people who do not follow guidelines.
0_o some people.
Ms Shark, your impressive command of snark, sarcasm and bluntness is leading me to believe that you and I may be twins, separated at birth.
SATIRE...Dear Ms. New Yorky Agent,DON’T DELEATE ME is a fiction novel about a writer with a devil-may-care attitude without enough common sense to query his way out of a paper bag. Faced with a pile of unpaid bills, and against his better judgment, he queries multiple agents in ways he is explicitly forbidden to do.Armed with his trusty pair of goulashes (whoops, typo. Who cares though? What agent would pass this up???), this ambitious writer tries to stay out of these agents slush piles.DON’T DELETE ME is a load of words. But, I wrote it all on napkins and old Chinese takeout menus, so I’m not really sure how long it is. You can count them yourself as you flip through my delicious manuscript. And please, enjoy whatever crab Rangoon or General Sao’s Chicken you might find stuck to the menus. It’s the best part.Wanna see the manuscript? Of course you do! My friends, and of course my mother, told me how great it is. So, to save you the time, I’m going to go ahead and send it as an attachment.Signed,Mr. For M. Rejection
Ha ha. Mr. Krause made my day:)
Yeah that's sounds good. good and original.
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