tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post1018300442232803479..comments2024-03-16T01:00:59.945-04:00Comments on Query Shark: #111Janet Reidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00615380335938685231noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-88905514969392808342009-05-01T22:58:00.000-04:002009-05-01T22:58:00.000-04:00The sequel is set on the hidden world of Celitoris...The sequel is set on the hidden world of Celitoris...<br /><br />I kid, I kid... and I'm an ass...<br /><br />Best of luck! Patrick Leehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05002265268335322310noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-75080788002088713902009-04-29T22:05:00.000-04:002009-04-29T22:05:00.000-04:00I'm just glad I wasn't the only one who read the f...I'm just glad I wasn't the only one who read the first sentence and thought "Nipple Planet!"<br /><br />Of course, after my nightly whiskey, that sounds like something I'd want to read.Lumpy Doghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10493920789977417670noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-23370623472676962432009-04-29T19:32:00.000-04:002009-04-29T19:32:00.000-04:00Aureole. - I thought the same thing, glad I'm not ...Aureole. - I thought the same thing, glad I'm not the only one.<br /><br />Kira - you're a good sport. Best of luck with your novel.Amy Kinzerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10436166248133753017noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-88262856583401849722009-04-29T18:31:00.000-04:002009-04-29T18:31:00.000-04:00I think we need to know more about the world--alth...I think we need to know more about the world--although not necessarily in the query letter. If it is full of love and magic, why are most of the protagonists miserable? It might be better not to start out by establishing the world as sounding like a paradise.<br /><br />Incidentally, I DID'T think <I>areola;</I> but Aureole did make me think "heavenly."<br /><br />WV: bantsoc--British dieting grouptalpiannahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13978075304795724185noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-11376344267045790062009-04-29T16:14:00.000-04:002009-04-29T16:14:00.000-04:00"Saga" is the word usually used for the generation..."Saga" is the word usually used for the generational tag you're meaning. Or you could just say "Spanning X generations ..."<br /><br />"Speculative fiction" as the genre should be fine as I assume you'll be querying agents who handle sf/f.<br /><br />As for the rest, well, it sounds like you've got the idea for where to start with the revision. I bet it will be much closer to the mark!Phoenix Sullivanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03290349031002504007noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-70962032892314053322009-04-29T11:08:00.000-04:002009-04-29T11:08:00.000-04:00It sounds interesting to me. It's harder to write...It sounds interesting to me. It's harder to write a 250 word query than a 100,000 word novel so I'll give the author the benefit of the doubt. Just focus on the main character, like the shark said, and I'm sure you'll have an interesting query.Matthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07681932402948885690noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-14540673822168983772009-04-29T10:54:00.000-04:002009-04-29T10:54:00.000-04:00The award for evocative typo: "unwittingly kills a...The award for evocative typo: "unwittingly kills a man after chaneling a dream".<br /><br />This conjures up images of death by Chanel fashions.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-64517714875871308342009-04-29T09:04:00.000-04:002009-04-29T09:04:00.000-04:00Thanks so much, this is mine. Yeah, I agree with e...Thanks so much, this is mine. Yeah, I agree with everything you said. I'll work on revisions. <br /><br />I was using generational to denote a novel that takes places over generations (like The Stone Diaries, only not as good because I am not Carol Shields).<br /><br />I will also change the name of the world. Much as I love nipples, they really have no place here. I've never heard of Mark Medoff, or his play, either.<br /><br />Again, thank you very much for posting this. It's exactly what I needed.Khttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01873717217392468323noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-25939926286400443842009-04-29T05:49:00.000-04:002009-04-29T05:49:00.000-04:00Aureole is a real word actually. It's that gold ar...Aureole is a real word actually. It's that gold around a saint's head that represents God's power or something. Alternately, it's that weird halo thing the sun has when you see it through fog.<br /><br />Not that I'm disagreeing with you. I thought areola, too.Wrathhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06392830284882645069noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-16810900050330223132009-04-29T05:38:00.000-04:002009-04-29T05:38:00.000-04:00I did however recognise the reference to Mark Medo...I did however recognise the reference to Mark Medoff's play, "Children of a Lesser God" (later filmed). It might be better to be original.<br /><br />As for aureole--ditto what Janet said.nonehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00415222406280230021noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-21477603232105296292009-04-29T04:20:00.000-04:002009-04-29T04:20:00.000-04:00I was forcibly reminded of "areola" as well. It ba...I was forcibly reminded of "areola" as well. It basically destroyed the tone. Made me giggle like a school boy.<br /><br />You tend to use a lot of general descriptions without revealing anything specific about the story. It obscures the plot. It's also harder for us to relate to the characters on a personal level since we don;t find out anything specific about them.<br /><br />I have never heard of the term "generational" either. This sounds like a fantasy novel. Call it what it is. If you want to be snooty and highbrow you can say it's "magical realism". woooh.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-69472779613222338672009-04-29T01:39:00.000-04:002009-04-29T01:39:00.000-04:00"Gods" isn't a proper-noun, it should be "gods" (i..."Gods" isn't a proper-noun, it should be "gods" (ie no capital).Peter Cooperhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04425304915182352610noreply@blogger.com