tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post1814416549188175423..comments2024-03-16T01:00:59.945-04:00Comments on Query Shark: #128-RevisedJanet Reidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00615380335938685231noreply@blogger.comBlogger17125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-11323343889532483112011-11-18T14:12:39.179-05:002011-11-18T14:12:39.179-05:00I adore Lindsey Davis' Marcus (!) Didius Falco...I adore Lindsey Davis' Marcus (!) Didius Falco series and my grandfather's house is a hop away from the place in the German woods where the Romans decided (with some help from the locals) "this far north and no further". Both of these things mean I'm a natural candidate to read this story.<br /><br />Here's my "but..":<br /><br />Reading the revised query makes me think the novel is about the father because he's in the 1st paragraph. It's only as I read on and into the original query that I realize it's really about the son. Yet it received shark approval.<br /><br />This confuses me as a poor schmuck working my way through the archives, trying to learn how to build a query.M.https://www.blogger.com/profile/07498466631016466048noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-33298108154152519192010-09-12T15:31:18.625-04:002010-09-12T15:31:18.625-04:00You can't really use the Lord of the Rings as ...You can't really use the Lord of the Rings as an example though, as J. R. R. Tolkien has previous works published prior to that series.<br />It also was a requested sequel to his populor novel, the Hobbit.<br />I'm pretty sure that changes things greatly, right, Ms. Shark?Meaningless Prosehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02427022904856900596noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-71886689065012468682009-09-19T10:50:16.295-04:002009-09-19T10:50:16.295-04:00Entries disappear for two reasons: revisions are i...Entries disappear for two reasons: revisions are in process (the Shark has received them, and is chomping)in which case the entry will pop back up again; OR the author asked the entry be removed.Janet Reidhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00615380335938685231noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-68895176375626878452009-09-18T04:51:13.375-04:002009-09-18T04:51:13.375-04:00I'm confused. Google Reader has entries going ...I'm confused. Google Reader has entries going up to #130, and I know for a fact I saw #129 just a week or so ago. Where did the entries go?The Strayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00439399194077073258noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-90465644909922890912009-09-17T19:16:55.882-04:002009-09-17T19:16:55.882-04:00I found it sort of confusing, actually. Tell us mo...I found it sort of confusing, actually. Tell us more about Marcus.<br /><br />...I just realized one of the main characters in something I'm writing is named that too.Saffronhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11129869817543740501noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-59029079517964638172009-09-08T03:14:31.054-04:002009-09-08T03:14:31.054-04:00I have no interest in ancient Rome, so I won't...I have no interest in ancient Rome, so I won't comment on plot.<br /><br />The discussion about word count is interesting. I have a friend who is writing a fantasy novel. At last count, he was at around 180,000 words! I told him that was too long based on what I'd read about the publishing industry. He assured me that most fantasy novels are huge so it won't matter.<br /><br />I read some fantasy but never could get into LOTR. I think it was the antiquated language and huge paragraphs that put me off. I just found it hard to follow and downright boring. Shows what I know!bcbgirl84https://www.blogger.com/profile/05202278735919726105noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-35905706647996697342009-09-07T23:40:13.967-04:002009-09-07T23:40:13.967-04:00190K? Yeah, I'm out, too.
But the title is a ...190K? Yeah, I'm out, too.<br /><br />But the title is a palindrome. I do like that._*rachel*_https://www.blogger.com/profile/03293167107180931700noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-3519568637890378692009-09-07T16:55:13.848-04:002009-09-07T16:55:13.848-04:00I keep wondering what happened to the rest of Marc...I keep wondering what happened to the rest of Marcus's name.nonehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00415222406280230021noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-15820777134885154512009-09-07T10:48:45.784-04:002009-09-07T10:48:45.784-04:00Don't be discouraged! The good news is that
(a...Don't be discouraged! The good news is that<br />(a) Ms. Reid chose your query<br />(b) she had some very positive comments, and<br />(c) you thought you had only written one book, and you actually have already written three!<br /><br />CongratulationsPatience-pleasehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13262203054740351060noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-79570697517660511922009-09-06T09:10:29.758-04:002009-09-06T09:10:29.758-04:00I don't read this kind of book so take this wi...I don't read this kind of book so take this with a grain of salt. I thought you were too wordy in this query. I need to know what the main problem is for Marcus. I think the way its worded now its too general. Paragraph two with the word count should either be at the top or the bottom. But they're right about the word count. Very hard for a first time writer to get something that long published. Third paragraph gives me more of the action but is too general. <br />Give me conflict, motivation and goals quick and concise. <br />Good luck!Aimlesswriterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03012050763172251381noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-50051204198764973512009-09-05T02:59:53.223-04:002009-09-05T02:59:53.223-04:00Damn !
This sounds like something I'd LOVE to...Damn !<br /><br />This sounds like something I'd LOVE to read :)<br /><br />Along the lines of Colleen McCullough's Rome series .. which are also huge books, though as stated, she had the track record to get then published.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13468481168414119225noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-80242450296081616802009-09-04T21:48:17.986-04:002009-09-04T21:48:17.986-04:00There is a great novel idea buried in those excess...There is a great novel idea buried in those excess words, and ROMA AMOR is a fabulous title. <br /><br />Querier, if you are interested in having a professional freelance editor (me) look at the manuscript FOR FREE and offer you some suggestions about cutting it to a publishable length, please send me an email at my Gmail account, the handle of which is juliacentric. <br /><br />I can share my bona fides, which I assure you are considerable; I do this stuff for money, but I would be glad to donate a few hours of my time because your topic interests me enormously.JShttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13974691019739092440noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-48379628350781597302009-09-04T16:50:17.622-04:002009-09-04T16:50:17.622-04:00I'm always eager to read long books; they make...I'm always eager to read long books; they make me feel good when I'm finished. I adored The Historian by Elizabeth Kostova,her first published novel coming in at a staggering quarter of a million words. <br /><br />But that was a remarkable book by an immense writing talent. If you're determined to sell a book that long, you have to be a truly extraordinary writer. I don't have a sense, from this letter, that you are that good yet. <br /><br />Story is interesting though, once you got to the meat of it. :)Tara Lindsay Hallhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00970258984995282462noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-44564168469237689132009-09-04T15:07:44.805-04:002009-09-04T15:07:44.805-04:00I'll use the Lord of the Rings as my example a...I'll use the Lord of the Rings as my example as, to be frank, it's a freaking tome. Also, there are many scenes that probably would have been cut if Papa Tolkien had tried to publish it today.<br /><br />The entire LotR series is about 520,000 words. It was divided into three books so for simplicity we'll assume they're even (even though they're not) and say that there's roughly 170,000 words in a volume.<br /><br />BUT! When Tolkien was trying to publish LotR for the first time he sent it to his publisher as a six book series! Partly due to a paper shortage, partly due to costs associated with publishing 6 small books over 3 thick ones, and partly because the publisher thought that a trilogy would sell better then a longer series, each volume is made up two complete 'books' that were originally intended to be packaged separately.<br /><br />So really, in the mother of all tomes, the LotR, the word count for each book in the series is roughly 87,000 words.<br /><br />In conclusion: Take a box cutter to your novel. It's too long.Mimzyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17171454664231209553noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-68697838739361392342009-09-04T14:56:30.072-04:002009-09-04T14:56:30.072-04:00“The point, O Theseus, is not to learn..."
I...“The point, O Theseus, is not to learn..."<br /><br />I'd be a little concerned that much of the dialogue is written in this manner. I'd think it would get annoying quick.Lehcarjthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17171145477602995121noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-12045972520361269132009-09-04T14:14:36.554-04:002009-09-04T14:14:36.554-04:00190k AND it's anticipated as the first in the ...190k AND it's anticipated as the first in the series?<br /><br />*runs with tail between legs*JESSJORDANhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08915521022827231804noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-58933824014866173152009-09-04T13:23:58.547-04:002009-09-04T13:23:58.547-04:00I thought womanising scoundrel was pretty much com...I thought womanising scoundrel was pretty much commonplace for Roman aristocrats....nonehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00415222406280230021noreply@blogger.com