tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post5011209392509330350..comments2024-03-16T01:00:59.945-04:00Comments on Query Shark: #290-Revised onceJanet Reidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00615380335938685231noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-46762221855203055582017-07-28T03:15:12.372-04:002017-07-28T03:15:12.372-04:00Let me first say that I rarely read this type of b...Let me first say that I rarely read this type of books (I'm more of a Sci-Fi, and fantasy kind of reader) but I think I got the overall sense of your story.<br />In my opinion, all the elements of your query are in the right place. I have only one doubt, you start saying Henry and Teju "have become informal foster parents" of Aisha, then towards the end you talk about "reticent friendship with Teju". Now, I agree "reticent" is not the correct word,. I don't think you meant Aisha and Teju are barely acquaintances, because if she is a foster mother, there must be a deeper emotional bond between Aisha and Teju. So, my guess is that you meant that after the rape, Aisha decided to keep Teju distant since she is not sure she can still have the same relationship with the wife of the man who raped her.<br />Because in the end, the emotional bond between Aisha and Teju is a major point, otherwise if Aisha had stopped caring about Teju and her well-being, she wouldn't have to face the decision whether to come back or not.Frankiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14515451171608119922noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-46437671600668940232017-07-28T02:48:52.780-04:002017-07-28T02:48:52.780-04:00I read the query more than once, but I'm still...I read the query more than once, but I'm still confused.<br />I know in a short query it's impossible to offer the complete context of the novel, but this one (in my personal opinion) lack of any sort of context.<br />"Then, eleven years later"<br />I guess then it's when the real story begins. Shouldn't this be the beginning of the query too?<br />One more thing, I don't understand why the main character, Filo, wants to get into this Academy at all costs? What happens if he doesn't?<br />It's also confusing when you mention he's "an asexual male charged with repopulating the planet" because you haven't given a context regarding why it's important.Frankiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14515451171608119922noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-311759128007950942017-07-26T13:30:24.429-04:002017-07-26T13:30:24.429-04:00I've been confused about whether or not to sen...I've been confused about whether or not to send attachments when the agency doesn't specify. If I've sent an email query with an attachment to an agency that expressed no preference, should I resend the query with the pages in the body of the email?Elizabeth Desimonehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09187669097200202636noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-40764484601782082912017-07-03T12:27:20.441-04:002017-07-03T12:27:20.441-04:00Teju Cole is also the name of a well-known author,...Teju Cole is also the name of a well-known author, one that readers are likely to recognize. Was that choice of character names done intentionally?Michellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01367726468568709992noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-26327438323165676332017-07-03T12:13:49.779-04:002017-07-03T12:13:49.779-04:00"a one sided narrative adult fiction"
..."a one sided narrative adult fiction" <br /><br />This isn't a phrase I've ever seen in queries, and I must admit to being utterly bemused what it means. <br /><br />I'm used to hearing 'one-sided' as a coded phrase meaning biased or unreliable, which I don't think applies here? I'm not sure if OP actual means 'unreliable narrator' or means that there's a single point-of-view throughout the story. If it's the latter, this is normal (women's fic often has only one point-of-view character) and doesn't need stated in the query.<br /><br />I'd recommend just saying "women's fiction" here.E.Mareehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17283073495361530535noreply@blogger.com