tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post2649940021344534375..comments2024-03-16T01:00:59.945-04:00Comments on Query Shark: #22Janet Reidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00615380335938685231noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-10652516406311822992010-02-05T14:36:18.168-05:002010-02-05T14:36:18.168-05:00I would read this. The Islamic revolution in Iran ...I would read this. The Islamic revolution in Iran was one of the most heartbreaking events in history.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15786475206547123446noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-1237542318879870492008-05-11T19:12:00.000-04:002008-05-11T19:12:00.000-04:00The story catches my attention - I'd read a book a...The story catches my attention - I'd read a book about an Iranian woman trapped by her own choices. However, I need some hope that the story is going to end well. Does it truly end in the 'destruction of her life?' Or is that destruction a plot point? Something she had to overcome to reach HEA?<BR/><BR/>Is the real story in that 'destruction of her life', how she overcomes the destruction? I'm wondering it the query really reflects what the story is about. Is it the story of meeting her husband and leaving him? Is it the story of what happens after she leaves?<BR/><BR/>Perhaps the word count is because you've started too early and are trying to tell too much of a tale in one book.<BR/><BR/>Anyways, I still liked the idea.Lehcarjthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17171145477602995121noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-23157279262150267742008-05-11T15:38:00.000-04:002008-05-11T15:38:00.000-04:00Wow! Is there really social prejudice in Iran, New...Wow! Is there really social prejudice in Iran, New York, or where ever this story is set?<BR/>Actually, I think a better novel would be about how transgendered people are readily accepted in Iran.<BR/>It is illegal to be gay in Iran; however, get a little *snip snip* and everything is cool.Gypsumhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02342218112739018038noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-75219460306786304632008-05-11T11:24:00.000-04:002008-05-11T11:24:00.000-04:00Why would she go back to Iran?That's a huge credib...Why would she go back to Iran?<BR/>That's a huge credibility gap. I have an Iranian friend-Muslim, who is married to a Christian Iranian man. He can't go back to Iran for any reason, he's on too many lists. And she's very cautious about her occasional trips to visit her family.<BR/>No one underestimates familial pressures in a part of the world where there are still 'honor' killings.Chris Eldinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11794946908789120139noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-77316476010787779472008-05-11T11:18:00.000-04:002008-05-11T11:18:00.000-04:00Note to author: Send manuscript and query through ...Note to author: <BR/><BR/>Send manuscript and query through your beta readers again. Let them hack and slash. There is potential (I think) for a bestseller, but it needs a few more drafts.<BR/><BR/>Don't rush to print and sacrafice quality. Great books *always* take work. Invest the time to make this perfect.Liana Brookshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14587774916354749190noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-1875455982470856552008-05-11T10:28:00.000-04:002008-05-11T10:28:00.000-04:00The story as I understand it is : Woman leaves Jew...The story as I understand it is : Woman leaves Jewish family in Iran to go to the States, marries Muslim man there, has child. Revolution breaks out in Iran. Muslim husband is a fugitive (from... ?) and abuses her. She can't go back to her family because of the shame. <BR/><BR/>I'm not sure what she actually does, though, or whether the story has a happy ending. The query letter mentions "absolute devastation" and the "destruction of her life", which makes me wonder whether the story has a happy ending, or even a bittersweet ending. And I'd really like to see what Farrah does to solve the problem, especially if she returns to Iran.Marian Pererahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15700524210146863718noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-45386105196476491492008-05-11T00:45:00.000-04:002008-05-11T00:45:00.000-04:00This is a great example of a story with a good con...This is a great example of a story with a good concept but perhaps but not the best execution. If the novel reads anything like the query letter (which it likely does, considering the word count), shortening and tightening it up could make it really great.Kristin Laughtinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01536556357622503501noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-64573661472072535402008-05-11T00:43:00.000-04:002008-05-11T00:43:00.000-04:00While the story has interesting elements, buy not ...While the story has interesting elements, buy not my typical read, it does seem very wordy. <BR/><BR/>I would be curious to know if a query letter is typical of the writing style and attention to detail the author puts into their novel? I am curious because I noticed some flow problems in the query and think that if the author got an editor top correct the flow problems, perhaps the word count would decrease as well.Jess Meltonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04322680826653376229noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-74357562830610639592008-05-10T23:57:00.000-04:002008-05-10T23:57:00.000-04:00I agree... the story seems like it has the potenti...I agree... the story seems like it has the potential of being intriguing if done well, but as already stated, it delves a little too deep in description within the query. Might be best to attack it by introducing the characters and the conflicts that ensue (the abuse by the man, the shunning of the family amidst the background of a revolution). These pieces are engaging. Putting these elements into the query without the superfluous description and plot summary I think would make this more concise and powerful.joshhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12274280612087855044noreply@blogger.com