tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post2992917534561318488..comments2024-03-16T01:00:59.945-04:00Comments on Query Shark: #115-RevisedJanet Reidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00615380335938685231noreply@blogger.comBlogger18125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-15925109698822646112010-05-26T20:55:36.793-04:002010-05-26T20:55:36.793-04:00yes, i am actually reading ALL of the archives.
y...yes, i am actually reading ALL of the archives.<br /><br />yes, i am finally leaving a comment and, yes, it's all because i have loved the phrase "CloudCuckooLand" since the 80s when i first saw it as the name of an album (okay, CD) by The Lightning Seeds.<br /><br />you rock.<br /><br />...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-62097702676767481762009-06-18T22:10:54.177-04:002009-06-18T22:10:54.177-04:00Just in case you wanted to maintain the illusion o...Just in case you wanted to maintain the illusion of perfection.<br /><br />Of course, that's assuming it is an illusion.K. Andrew Smithhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01052411050241652529noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-18178466967953470362009-06-17T11:57:31.917-04:002009-06-17T11:57:31.917-04:00Forsooth why would I delete the comment?Forsooth why would I delete the comment?Janet Reidhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00615380335938685231noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-9771278984939283282009-06-17T09:58:20.320-04:002009-06-17T09:58:20.320-04:00Note to the Shark: You have a typo in your 3rd par...Note to the Shark: You have a typo in your 3rd paragraph. "Sooth" should be "soothe."<br /><br />(Feel free to delete this comment)K. Andrew Smithhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01052411050241652529noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-4947967461624888462009-06-05T16:33:16.971-04:002009-06-05T16:33:16.971-04:00oh praise the lord that I am done with this query ...oh praise the lord that I am done with this query letter crap! Well, not techincally. I maybe getting published, but without an agent.The Rejection Queenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01288683065588449736noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-27446593962847914832009-05-30T18:03:40.032-04:002009-05-30T18:03:40.032-04:00Brigid, individual agents have different tastes. ...Brigid, individual agents have different tastes. That's why it pays to research them :).nonehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00415222406280230021noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-60887520196361842682009-05-28T23:34:48.032-04:002009-05-28T23:34:48.032-04:00So glad to see more queries up! Love the comments ...So glad to see more queries up! Love the comments here.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-1555388905255274582009-05-27T12:52:54.965-04:002009-05-27T12:52:54.965-04:00This blog kicks ass.
Janet, you mention leading w...This blog kicks ass.<br /><br />Janet, you mention leading with the story for your opening paragraph, which is something I do. But I recently received a very rude rejection from an agent who then directed me to his blog for why I was rejected. In a blind panic, I opened the blog, worried he had taken my query and put it up on his site as a warning to other writers or something. <br /><br />But it was a blog entry about common query mistakes, and one of them was leading with story instead of an introduction to who you are and why you're writing. <br /><br />I've always done what you mention here, and led with story, but maybe I'm misinterpreting? Should there be an introductory sentence about the title, the word count, the genre, etc.?Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09215557278096889044noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-62489723238348608792009-05-27T12:27:14.422-04:002009-05-27T12:27:14.422-04:00Mixed analogies asides, 'Adonis' has a better ring...Mixed analogies asides, 'Adonis' has a better ring to it than 'Apocatequil'...Kathttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07284480008194612437noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-65865645371304028572009-05-27T01:46:46.519-04:002009-05-27T01:46:46.519-04:00I was distracted by too many strings of adjectives...I was distracted by too many strings of adjectives throughout, which makes me wonder if the ms would read the same way.Sarahlynnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13658866017847046987noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-28144369190947898452009-05-26T15:31:03.259-04:002009-05-26T15:31:03.259-04:00Thanks, Ms. Reid, for your efforts on all of these...Thanks, Ms. Reid, for your efforts on all of these.Joshua McCunehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17367262185912463258noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-78958304187906360132009-05-26T10:16:10.400-04:002009-05-26T10:16:10.400-04:00Could be a good book here but I think you need to ...Could be a good book here but I think you need to cut the fluff. <br />Mostly the first three paragraphs. Save the bio-her simple life, two-faced employer- for the book. Give me her challenge and what she risks to tackle it. <br />Something like; When a beloved aunt falls ill and asks Sallie to find her long lost love she risks everything blah blah blah. <br />I loved Romancing the Stone so I think this could be good too as long as it's different enough. <br />Good luck!Aimlesswriterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03012050763172251381noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-18824862834371774552009-05-26T09:40:10.279-04:002009-05-26T09:40:10.279-04:00Sounds like Destinos to me ;)
...or maybe no one...Sounds like Destinos to me ;) <br /><br />...or maybe no one else had to watch that in spanish classEmily Ruthhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00560861123334254282noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-24329535437809020752009-05-26T09:01:45.649-04:002009-05-26T09:01:45.649-04:00So this is how you spent your holiday weekend? Sh...So this is how you spent your holiday weekend? Sharking around?Lumpy Doghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10493920789977417670noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-62166371745777559542009-05-26T08:23:10.365-04:002009-05-26T08:23:10.365-04:00I think the opening paragraph makes for a great se...I think the opening paragraph makes for a great setup. I am intrigued, but then we get into more of the calm and the talk of her mother and aunt goes nowhere. I think the second paragraph should have her suddenly on her way to Peru to search for the mysterious Arturo, as for the details of what she is doing going to Peru, well all I'm sure that will all be explained in extensive detail in the novel. After that it seemed that things became too vague for me.Alissa Grossohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16701189791875707920noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-37416846757961741362009-05-26T03:23:58.521-04:002009-05-26T03:23:58.521-04:00While I'm deep in rewriting at the moment and not ...While I'm deep in rewriting at the moment and not ready to begin working on putting a query together, comments like this are really assisting with my writing.<br /><br />By reading your feedback, I'm thinking about whether I have my characters doing anything that may not seem rational and believable to readers.<br /><br />This blog serves a lot of purposes - thank you.Barbhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11972925629235261913noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-17638107584833478532009-05-26T01:40:18.710-04:002009-05-26T01:40:18.710-04:00(Aztec = Mexico; Inca = Peru). :)(Aztec = Mexico; Inca = Peru). :)Skeptichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04570339590935432267noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-30356162642324011812009-05-26T01:18:58.956-04:002009-05-26T01:18:58.956-04:00Another incisive chunk of insight. FInding your si...Another incisive chunk of insight. FInding your site has simultaneously open my eyes to what agents are looking for and terrified me. But I'm facing my fear and will submit to your tender mercies soon. Please continue to do these reviews - they are absolutely gold.<br /><br />(Note: lil' typo in this para:<br /><br />"Again, start with something interesting. The fact that Sallie likes calm can be dealt with in one phrase: Sallie values a call, well-running life"<br /><br />call=calm<br /><br />It didn't stop me reading just raised the bar...I mean, I like your review.)worldofhiglethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09395655800027831396noreply@blogger.com