tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post3666547985184691479..comments2024-03-16T01:00:59.945-04:00Comments on Query Shark: #54Janet Reidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00615380335938685231noreply@blogger.comBlogger40125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-41265289547465035942008-08-01T21:39:00.000-04:002008-08-01T21:39:00.000-04:00she is so stubborn.she is so stubborn.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-70069924430915483452008-08-01T21:21:00.000-04:002008-08-01T21:21:00.000-04:00Perhaps we should start to chant...Perhaps we should start to chant...talpiannahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13978075304795724185noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-25732044248309361692008-08-01T20:03:00.000-04:002008-08-01T20:03:00.000-04:00she's watching the wire.she's watching the wire.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-25543039431142481622008-08-01T13:32:00.000-04:002008-08-01T13:32:00.000-04:00Where is the Query Shark? I am missing it..or is...Where is the Query Shark? I am missing it..or is something wrong with my computer?<BR/><BR/>I loved the opening line! I, too, am not much into this type of story, but thought it was an excellent query.austexgrlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15120955308669553700noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-54065140363036295592008-07-25T20:37:00.000-04:002008-07-25T20:37:00.000-04:00This comment has been removed by the author.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-15034033889260481932008-07-25T20:35:00.000-04:002008-07-25T20:35:00.000-04:00This comment has been removed by the author.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-42235467190130347852008-07-24T03:22:00.000-04:002008-07-24T03:22:00.000-04:00I just got an e-mail from Janet in response to an ...I just got an e-mail from Janet in response to an LOLcat I had sent her.<BR/><BR/>She's not dead, she's just left the building.talpiannahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13978075304795724185noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-41813399680022832762008-07-23T22:56:00.000-04:002008-07-23T22:56:00.000-04:00The count is up to 22.Anyone notice that Janet is ...The count is up to 22.<BR/>Anyone notice that Janet is MIA? Someone dial 311- A crime has been committed.<BR/><BR/>Better yet: Someone call Max and his posse.Bad Authorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11057159699886729409noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-57609707743150452192008-07-21T06:53:00.000-04:002008-07-21T06:53:00.000-04:00Not really my kind of story, but damn, that's a go...Not really my kind of story, but damn, that's a good query.astrologymemphis.blogspot.comhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08094432734141490681noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-80852899381107368932008-07-16T15:03:00.000-04:002008-07-16T15:03:00.000-04:00I like the first sentence it really grabbed me but...I like the first sentence it really grabbed me but then nothing in the rest of the query mentioned why. Being the curious type I'd just have to read it to find out so I guess the hook did it's trick. I think 50k is a little short for a novel too so maybe you can go back in and stretch the journal entries.<BR/><BR/>It sounds interesting, good luck with it.Angeli Casihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11083822062958037322noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-20230269961146460972008-07-15T19:49:00.000-04:002008-07-15T19:49:00.000-04:00Sounds interesting.Sounds interesting.Sharron Riddlehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11733671984326071150noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-54418940392700710712008-07-11T13:54:00.000-04:002008-07-11T13:54:00.000-04:00Josh, "science fiction novel" is OK, because it's ...Josh, "science fiction novel" is OK, because it's /science fiction/ /novel/.<BR/><BR/>I prefer "work of science fiction" and "work of women's fiction" just to avoid the similarity to the dreaded "fiction novel" solecism, but "science fiction" is the name of the genre.<BR/><BR/>Crittias, nobody likes a slow start after an exciting prologue.JShttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13974691019739092440noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-65704096318507949942008-07-11T01:29:00.000-04:002008-07-11T01:29:00.000-04:00This comment has been removed by the author.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-42028862439085486692008-07-10T23:52:00.000-04:002008-07-10T23:52:00.000-04:00Perhaps "slow" isn't the word I should've used. I...Perhaps "slow" isn't the word I should've used. I like contrasting the prologue with a chapter that emphasizes that Bart struggles with mundane things as well. I like the duality aspects of the story (farmer during the day, AI-fighting superhero at night), and based on most people's reactions to the query letter, I think that's my most important hook.<BR/><BR/>How do I write a story that lets me emphasize Bart's normal life AND his secret life? (This is probably a rhetorical question that I need to answer, but if someone has suggestions, I'm all ears).<BR/><BR/>Bish, I really hope you'll continue reading. Your insight so far has really gotten me thinking about things. Perhaps once you've gotten further into the story (or even finished it, it's a quick read) you'll be able to provide even more direction for me. I really appreciate it!Crittiashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15867221474504463098noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-35070930777131259702008-07-10T22:38:00.000-04:002008-07-10T22:38:00.000-04:00This comment has been removed by the author.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-42290097392011905622008-07-10T20:51:00.000-04:002008-07-10T20:51:00.000-04:00I was wondering if the phrase "[science] fiction n...I was wondering if the phrase "[science] fiction novel" was forgiven in this case, with this query? Or if it was just passed over? Just curious if it's forgivable in some circumstances and not others?joshhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12274280612087855044noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-72057257175460843722008-07-10T19:18:00.000-04:002008-07-10T19:18:00.000-04:00bish,I have a manuscript that is in the correct fo...bish,<BR/><BR/>I have a manuscript that is in the correct format. I sent you a copy that, in my opinion, is a bit easier on the eyes (I find standard manuscript format has too much whitespace).<BR/><BR/>I have to give some thought to punching up chapter one. I kinda liked the idea of a slow start after a startling prologue, but you're not the first person that's commented on Chapter One being slow. I'll figure something out.<BR/><BR/>I hope you'll keep reading more of it!Crittiashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15867221474504463098noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-49919254814832717372008-07-10T19:14:00.000-04:002008-07-10T19:14:00.000-04:00This comment has been removed by the author.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-42725893073866553602008-07-10T13:44:00.000-04:002008-07-10T13:44:00.000-04:00He had me too, until I read about journal entries ...He had me too, until I read about journal entries and flashbacks. Definitely something that cooled my ardor. Otherwise it was a great query. I don't read stuff like that but I was sooooo interested.Jessica Nelsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12365768876905444157noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-88702602900400028522008-07-10T00:46:00.000-04:002008-07-10T00:46:00.000-04:00To answer bad author's questions:The flashbacks ra...To answer bad author's questions:<BR/><BR/>The flashbacks range from the late 90's to the near future (2011, 2012ish). I do not spend much time in the story talking about Bart's military life, but he did spend some time in Iraq and Afghanistan before being tasked with more clandestine activities.<BR/><BR/>Yes, I posted this query at Evil Editor. It's met with a much more positive response here :-) That said, I'm still planning on tweaking the letter quite a bit before I send anything out. I've received some very constructive criticism from both sites.Crittiashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15867221474504463098noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-78101340372833464852008-07-10T00:41:00.000-04:002008-07-10T00:41:00.000-04:00If he is a farmer in 2017, then in what period are...If he is a farmer in 2017, then in what period are the flashbacks set?<BR/><BR/>I'd like to see a novel where the flashbacks are set in the future (Kind of like the terminator movies)<BR/><BR/>Ex-soldier that served in the Middle East? How about ex-soldier who toured in (Name faraway land) while the rest of the world was distracted by the Middle East.<BR/><BR/>Did you post this query at Evil Editor? It looks familiar.Bad Authorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11057159699886729409noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-63494275147998805102008-07-09T22:50:00.000-04:002008-07-09T22:50:00.000-04:00philologia, if you email me (ted.boone at gmail.co...philologia, if you email me (ted.boone at gmail.com) I'll be happy to share a copy with you.Crittiashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15867221474504463098noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-85728657402174986312008-07-09T21:42:00.000-04:002008-07-09T21:42:00.000-04:00This comment has been removed by the author.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-25549192697306070302008-07-09T20:41:00.000-04:002008-07-09T20:41:00.000-04:00Crittias, if you'd like some input I'd love to rea...Crittias, if you'd like some input I'd love to read it. I'm intrigued. <BR/><BR/>And you know, about the word count and oddity of journals/flashbacks, well, rules are meant to be broken. Just so long as you know what the rules are, and you break 'em damn well.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-67140373503675978032008-07-09T20:33:00.000-04:002008-07-09T20:33:00.000-04:00I like the premise, but I'm not sure I'd read some...I like the premise, but I'm not sure I'd read something that was so short yet had a bunch of flashbacks.Chris Eldinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11794946908789120139noreply@blogger.com