tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post7204522142453714137..comments2024-03-16T01:00:59.945-04:00Comments on Query Shark: #27Janet Reidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00615380335938685231noreply@blogger.comBlogger31125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-39509974530280172982008-05-24T16:19:00.000-04:002008-05-24T16:19:00.000-04:00Sure thing, Molli. =)Sure thing, Molli. =)C.J. Redwinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18133349802945244028noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-32613362642421438142008-05-22T22:46:00.000-04:002008-05-22T22:46:00.000-04:00Great query! May I post it on my website? I'm a fo...Great query! May I post it on my website? I'm a former publisher, now a publishing coach, helping writers learn how to write effective queries, synopses and first pages. Check it out at www.getpublishednow.biz. Thanks for your consideration of my request.Mollihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09228571959634945315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-3447922168341024902008-05-22T14:53:00.000-04:002008-05-22T14:53:00.000-04:00Can't say I'm thrilled with the idea of yet anothe...Can't say I'm thrilled with the idea of yet <I>another</I> kickass heroine in the paranormal/urban fantasy side of things, but EXCELLENT query! You captured the voice and tone well.<BR/><BR/>I agree with Lexi's comment on the one line--we can seriously do without it by now, IMHO. I wasn't super-grabbed by the opener, either (personal preference), but all that aside, I can still see why Query Shark likes it.<BR/><BR/>Good job and good luck! :)<BR/><BR/>~MercMerchttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14164221022350926808noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-42985845798942282612008-05-19T21:46:00.000-04:002008-05-19T21:46:00.000-04:00Take one seriously stoned single girl.Can I have t...<I>Take one seriously stoned single girl.<BR/><BR/>Can I have that version? It made me snort water.</I><BR/><BR/>Well, if you want to read about Britney Spears, it's your funeral.talpiannahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13978075304795724185noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-36210869416654520192008-05-19T17:14:00.000-04:002008-05-19T17:14:00.000-04:00OK, that first paragraph can go -- it's just confu...OK, that first paragraph can go -- it's just confusing -- but from the first sentence of the second paragraph I was hooked. This query rocks. It does everything right.Bethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08504439129670380071noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-29849419112336951132008-05-19T15:07:00.000-04:002008-05-19T15:07:00.000-04:00Like everyone else, I thought this was great. How...Like everyone else, I thought this was great. However I read the first line incorrectly at first. My version:<BR/><BR/><I>Take one seriously <B>s</B>toned single girl</I>.<BR/><BR/>Can I have that version? It made me snort water.Lehcarjthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17171145477602995121noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-64199689357137340062008-05-19T14:34:00.000-04:002008-05-19T14:34:00.000-04:00A book blurb that includes anything along the line...A book blurb that includes anything along the lines of '<I>the protagonist must</I> uncover the truth/face her deepest fear/track down those responsible' etc. etc. is utilising the most common cliché around.<BR/><BR/>I'm a beta member of Authonomy, so am currently reading a lot of summaries of novels; and I've seen this phrase so often it's become an old friend.Lexihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14404818053292364819noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-55006613398779053492008-05-19T02:34:00.000-04:002008-05-19T02:34:00.000-04:00I agree with Buffy; I think "sense emotions" would...I agree with Buffy; I think "sense emotions" would work better. But one wrong word doth not a fabulous query destroy!talpiannahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13978075304795724185noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-81239003453529335712008-05-18T21:26:00.000-04:002008-05-18T21:26:00.000-04:00Score!I'm not sure you "hear" emotions, but who am...Score!<BR/><BR/>I'm not sure you "hear" emotions, but who am I to talk. I shall just drivel on for a bit so Sharky gets bored reading this and won't bother even to think about deleting it because it's so dull.nonehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00415222406280230021noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-33100540335478939242008-05-18T04:40:00.000-04:002008-05-18T04:40:00.000-04:00THIS!THIS!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-78831915371569204552008-05-17T14:24:00.000-04:002008-05-17T14:24:00.000-04:00Janet, I'm laughing right now. The inside joke is ...Janet, I'm laughing right now. <BR/>The inside joke is that she just deleted my last comment.~<BR/><BR/>*Giggles like a schoolgirl*<BR/><BR/>That is a seriously good query.Julie Weathershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13725236516593676381noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-88580528467433820762008-05-17T11:28:00.000-04:002008-05-17T11:28:00.000-04:00I love the voice!! I'd definitely read this one!I love the voice!! I'd definitely read this one!Chris Eldinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11794946908789120139noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-69671115523377687002008-05-17T11:26:00.000-04:002008-05-17T11:26:00.000-04:00The best part about this query, IMO, is that the v...The best part about this query, IMO, is that the voice of the writing shone through. It wasn't the formulaic this-then-this, but it was in a style that gives a sense of what I hope the book's voice is. Well done!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11431700962951592287noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-3203698312349062332008-05-17T02:55:00.000-04:002008-05-17T02:55:00.000-04:00Wow. I am thrilled at the positive response to th...Wow. I am thrilled at the positive response to this query...and yes, this is the fourth incarnation and I admit to shuddering any time I read the first two.<BR/><BR/>Thanks for the comments! Hopefully you'll be able to find Alexa's story in a book store near you soon. :)C.J. Redwinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18133349802945244028noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-50812135282212221452008-05-16T23:30:00.000-04:002008-05-16T23:30:00.000-04:00Oh, I see! My apologies, R. Lyle Wolfe. I just did...Oh, I see! My apologies, R. Lyle Wolfe. I just didn't hear the cries of <I>"SHARK ATTACK IN THE COMMENT TRAIL!!"</I> last time you lost a limb, er, comment.jjdebenedictishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16950592240599703771noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-75782209843057036002008-05-16T22:18:00.000-04:002008-05-16T22:18:00.000-04:00Congats. I wasn't crazy about the "pinch of this, ...Congats. <BR/><BR/>I wasn't crazy about the "pinch of this, dash of that" but the rest made up for it.<BR/><BR/>There's hope for the rest of us yet.Melissahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02278768294356379873noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-91295797806870721642008-05-16T21:54:00.000-04:002008-05-16T21:54:00.000-04:00Janet, I'm laughing right now. The inside joke is ...Janet, I'm laughing right now. <BR/>The inside joke is that she just deleted my last comment.Gypsumhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02342218112739018038noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-54429411094296449502008-05-16T21:15:00.000-04:002008-05-16T21:15:00.000-04:00You mean Ruth the Moderator quit?I agree this soun...You mean Ruth the Moderator quit?<BR/><BR/>I agree this sounds great--but what element would you stress most in marketing it? Paranormal? Mystery? Romance? It sounds like it would fit right in with the Kim Harrison/Patricia Briggs/C.E. Murphy (and possibly) Laurell K. Hamilton) crowd.talpiannahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13978075304795724185noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-65430980077440686582008-05-16T21:10:00.000-04:002008-05-16T21:10:00.000-04:00Comments are ruthlessly moderated.Comments are ruthlessly moderated.Janet Reidhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00615380335938685231noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-57231477618250424732008-05-16T19:11:00.000-04:002008-05-16T19:11:00.000-04:00R. Lyle Wolfe said:And I'm sure that this post wil...<B>R. Lyle Wolfe said:</B><BR/><I>And I'm sure that this post will survive for about twenty seconds.</I><BR/><BR/>Why? You think your comments are that edgy? Opinions with bite are hardy disallowed here. I mean...you <I>have</I> met our gracious hostess, right? <BR/><BR/>Over there? The one with the double row of serrated teeth?jjdebenedictishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16950592240599703771noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-23761845268095618282008-05-16T18:53:00.000-04:002008-05-16T18:53:00.000-04:00Ok, at first, I thought this was a joke, but I kep...Ok, at first, I thought this was a joke, but I kept reading... This is an awesome query letter! Congrats to the talented writer! You've certainly sold me on the tale. Wow!Jinxie Ghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00614376910387330818noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-12818704872403184132008-05-16T18:35:00.000-04:002008-05-16T18:35:00.000-04:00LOL I LOVE THIS! It's got everything--a great voic...LOL I LOVE THIS! It's got everything--a great voice, a great story. Good luck!Amie Stuarthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14145328243563702260noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-87967403365124149412008-05-16T16:57:00.000-04:002008-05-16T16:57:00.000-04:00Great query. Great voice. I'd read it.Great query. Great voice. I'd read it.Sarah Laurensonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09252565450452195395noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-26784778036796793852008-05-16T16:52:00.000-04:002008-05-16T16:52:00.000-04:00Well, I may as well just shoot myself now and save...Well, I may as well just shoot myself now and save myself years of misery as my query will never be that good nor gripping. Damn!Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12758079037338808713noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-43250791346848866242008-05-16T15:41:00.000-04:002008-05-16T15:41:00.000-04:00Seriously cool query. Not my genre preference, bu...Seriously cool query. Not my genre preference, but I'd read it.Kiersten Whitehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05780265683043033609noreply@blogger.com