tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.comments2024-03-16T01:00:59.945-04:00Query SharkJanet Reidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00615380335938685231noreply@blogger.comBlogger8006125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-3588316856881120312022-09-29T09:27:49.058-04:002022-09-29T09:27:49.058-04:00A comp that might work for this is The Six-Gun Tar...A comp that might work for this is <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/15793094-the-six-gun-tarot" rel="nofollow">The Six-Gun Tarot, by R. S. Belcher</a> (I haven't read its sequel, The Shotgun Arcana, but the series in general might work!)Jennifer R. Donohuehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00363886899308588391noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-56208314792719320172022-09-26T16:27:15.651-04:002022-09-26T16:27:15.651-04:00Just think of all the misinterpretations of “The W...Just think of all the misinterpretations of “The Weight” by The Band because of the line “just pulled into Nazareth.” They were actually going to Nazareth, PA to pick up a Martin guitar because that’s where they’re made. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15556828203028279692noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-35178379320794849002022-09-07T23:49:34.668-04:002022-09-07T23:49:34.668-04:00It sound like an interesting premise though! And I...It sound like an interesting premise though! And I do agree that the Christian imagery reads much more like a fantasy novel than a religious one, lots of fantasy uses Christian mythology as its basis <br /><br />The stuff in the worldbuilding section towards the end sounds quite promising in terms of scope-- like it sounds like it might be about the end of a major religion? If that's part of what your threat is then I would for sure include that in the plotEmmahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03464813832685404559noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-65133907306110777242022-09-07T05:12:05.388-04:002022-09-07T05:12:05.388-04:00This comment has been removed by the author.Ernesthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04054052248866015135noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-51531453959566167142022-09-06T14:56:55.028-04:002022-09-06T14:56:55.028-04:00Thanks, Janet. I appreciate your relentless pursui...Thanks, Janet. I appreciate your relentless pursuit to use fewer words. I've since noticed that writing plainly reveals more voice, not less.<br /><br />A neat trick!Lucas Darrhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01405530729663443670noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-21342030939756387202022-09-05T21:01:41.192-04:002022-09-05T21:01:41.192-04:00I wish I had more to give to start with than these...I wish I had more to give to start with than these two words: Too Confusing!<br /><br />That said, this reads like exactly what it is, something that makes complete sense in your head because you wrote it and are intimate with everything in the story. No one else is though, especially any agent you're going to send it to. You need to write it, not like you're intimately aware of it, but as if you know nothing but the bare bones of it, but enough to pique someone's interest with it. Right now, if I were an agent, it would have been a hard pass after the first two paragraphs of the query itself (sans question).nightsmusichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05984119792540771870noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-52362880328293343972022-09-05T09:34:49.503-04:002022-09-05T09:34:49.503-04:00I don't want to be mean to the author or the q...I don't want to be mean to the author or the query, but by the simple addition of the "ethics of eating meat", it completelly put me off on reading his story.<br /><br />One because if I'm buying a fantasy book, I'm reading it for the story, not some potencial political message the author wants to express. It can still be there, but by point it out not only it's showing a different priority than to simply write a good story, but it's also showing you don't trust your audience to be able to get it by simply reading the book.<br /><br />It alsos shows a very modern way of thinking and detached from what's happening. "What about the ettics of this?" When there's a war going on.<br /><br />The second point is that it also clashes horribly against the setting. Supposely there's a war happening and soldiers were desperate enough to pillaged the village to the point of killing horses for food. Even if the main character of the story loves the animals and pains him seeing them suffer, there's much worse things going around him.<br /><br />Also, when it says "Aman must shows to Karib the value of animal life." It doesn't paint the main character in a good light. Because in times of war what most people would think about is the suffering of people. Imagine someone in WW 1, saying to the relatives of soldiers that died in the trenches, for them to think on the suffering of the horses that carried the equipment to the battlefield.<br /><br />It even says "Karib believes that animal welfare means nothing in times of human suffering." It's painting, what I believe is the antagonist in the story, as the reasonable person in the conflict, and I don't think that's the intention.<br /><br />...https://www.blogger.com/profile/05774854360116475084noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-2013999441715227052022-08-23T18:46:51.979-04:002022-08-23T18:46:51.979-04:00I don't know if you see comments posted on old...I don't know if you see comments posted on old blogs like this, but I laughed out loud when I read "Why you put this at the top of your query letter I do not know." I thought, "SNL fan." And then I saw you posted it on a Sunday and knew you were channeling Kenan Thompson. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15556828203028279692noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-19870710562703409592022-07-25T16:17:49.538-04:002022-07-25T16:17:49.538-04:00Aloha Query Shark,
It's so nice to see you bac...Aloha Query Shark,<br />It's so nice to see you back in action, turning the bloody publishing waters crimson. I'm not a big historical fiction fan, but this one sounds intriguing. I love your idea of taking a complex story, bringing it back to the main hero, and making it personal. Looking forward to the next installment. Rachel Funk Hellerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10478531193012068498noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-11161993385915548522022-07-10T16:11:44.374-04:002022-07-10T16:11:44.374-04:00Oh wow I didn't realize using ownvoices was no...Oh wow I didn't realize using ownvoices was now a faux pas! Time to cut that from my query :)LEKhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09412348889711849188noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-54567146911118062672022-06-01T14:03:22.932-04:002022-06-01T14:03:22.932-04:00I don't have much to add because I'm not f...I don't have much to add because I'm not familiar enough with any of the genres this might fit into, but I have one comment that might help: I read so fast that I don't care to memorize names; instead, I go by first letter. It's like a photo in my mind of the word: the first letter, and then it's fuzzy. You have Allison, Adrian, and Alex, which you might have meant as a nice alliteration, but for me as a reader I would probably close the book. I'm never going to remember who is who or which is which. I've accidentally done it in the books I've written a couple of times, just giving two people "A" names or "L" names, and I had to do a global search to correct it. So my suggestion is simply make them Allison, Fallulah and Marjorie (or something equally different). That might help some of the confusion, too. I would say the same for Dean Crusty (Crustacean University), Scuba Scooter and Surfer Joe, although those aren't as bad since they have other descriptions as part of the name that conjure up an image. I hope that is somewhat helpful!theblondepihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05504674085135675032noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-61132050622369455222022-05-29T15:45:33.800-04:002022-05-29T15:45:33.800-04:00I think middle grade might actually be aiming too ...I think middle grade might actually be aiming too high. This reads to me more like early reader/chapter book. I'm not up on that category, but it seems like a series that bounces around an ensemble cast rather than centering on a single protagonist is more of a thing there. Also, since kids tend to read up, that's a pretty niche market, so you're gonna want to do even more research to understand where your series fits.Brittanyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02661380649581961221noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-67261481201907844002022-04-22T02:06:02.931-04:002022-04-22T02:06:02.931-04:00Just reading past posts and saw this...found the b...Just reading past posts and saw this...found the book if anyone's interested- Bad Witch Burning was published last year. Well done, Jessica!Pen-Up Girlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17349431443527029558noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-51157957073864974652022-04-11T20:02:36.616-04:002022-04-11T20:02:36.616-04:00I thought this book sounded so awesome, I Googled ...I thought this book sounded so awesome, I Googled it to see if I could find it published. AND I DID! The title changed, but it's available as Bad Witch Burning, by Jessica Lewis, pub'd in 2021. Congrats Jessica. What a great book, and what a great story!!Beccahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08819846632034367183noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-5730488722236941882022-03-29T20:18:19.402-04:002022-03-29T20:18:19.402-04:00Hi! It's the author of the query here. There...Hi! It's the author of the query here. There are a few things that I feel I should say.<br /><br />1.) I didn't mean to throw my beta readers under the bus like that, and I'm glad that Madame Sharque called me out on it. Paid or unpaid, beta readers have done the unenviable work of slogging through my very first drafts and pointing out the errors that I didn't see. In the slim chance that any of my beta readers are here on this blog, I apologize dearly.<br /><br />2.) This might be a silly question, but when you all said the A-names need to change, did you mean that the names in the story itself need to change? Or simply that the query doesn't need so many A-names? I've recently sent a revision where only the main protagonist (Aman), the main antagonist, and their respective factions are mentioned by name. Aman's horse is simply referred to as "Aman's horse."Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14038624692989420800noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-68324710449357076042022-03-07T07:32:42.118-05:002022-03-07T07:32:42.118-05:00100k isn't short for a fantasy novel. It's...100k isn't short for a fantasy novel. It's exactly on the money. More than 140k and editors get anxious; 110-120 probably ideal for adult. (I'm debuting at 109, fwiw.) Querying a 300k novel as a debut is auto-pass from most agents. So is 200k tbh. The giant doorstopper books being put out are usually either 20 years old and/or put out by established authors. Harley Bishophttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16680402884915406623noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-40309872343951057872022-02-03T07:06:33.193-05:002022-02-03T07:06:33.193-05:00Am I the only one throwing my phone over the prota...Am I the only one throwing my phone over the protagonist falling in love with her sibling? And did I misread that she was the sole member of the monarchy and the next line introduced said brother? Without a long-winded explanation of why Max is excluded from the monarchy it feels like anachronism.KateCMEhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13674086433623804762noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-13677830775138996302021-12-29T20:37:08.214-05:002021-12-29T20:37:08.214-05:00A bit more about cliffhangers: IMO if you wrap up ...A bit more about cliffhangers: IMO if you wrap up MOST of the threads of your story, you can leave one or two threads danglng open for the next book. But I agree: Leaving the story on a dead cliffhanger will end up with nothing but hate from most of your readers.<br /><br />100,000 words sounds SHORT for a fantasy novel. Most go at least 2-3x that. Is that my imagination? Arbitrarily cutting off around 100k words isn't making a lot of sense to me on any level.Lionhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14259787715467282678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-70967022546525099062021-12-29T20:05:41.891-05:002021-12-29T20:05:41.891-05:00Glad to see you back, Ms. Shark!
The FIRST thing ...Glad to see you back, Ms. Shark!<br /><br />The FIRST thing I noticed was the plethora of A-names. Even if the author is in love with the names, at least a few need to change. Also are all these names even needed in a query. For instance, substitute, "the King of his country," "the grand Vizier of _Another Country_," "his best friend," and so forth.<br /><br />Recently I was asked to create a book description where the author thought that the name of the Love Interest's two friends and the names of ALL THREE antagonists were somehow important to include. Nope! Name soup is out. Give me the names of two main characters. Maybe additionally the titles of some of the antagonists, such as the Mayor of Copper Forge, or her spinster Aunt. Lionhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14259787715467282678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-1542505873508399852021-12-27T16:04:18.346-05:002021-12-27T16:04:18.346-05:00Takes me 4 - 5 years to write a book. Comps need t...Takes me 4 - 5 years to write a book. Comps need to be within 3 years. Which means I have to HOPE someone publishes a good comp well after I've already begun writing.<br /><br />Good system.PAHhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18150112855344551488noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-75398436853599149812021-12-13T07:55:19.004-05:002021-12-13T07:55:19.004-05:00When looking for comps I suggest looking more broa...When looking for comps I suggest looking more broadly than "books that feature horses". Think about style, character types, setting, etc.Cherylhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09128656624170294636noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-55440934033395113402021-11-16T15:18:07.053-05:002021-11-16T15:18:07.053-05:00The premise is solid and now I'm interested in...The premise is solid and now I'm interested in more of the specifics of it - what does this 250,000 word multi-POV novel actually look like? Is there really a way to satisfyingly split it to make it a shorter first in the planned series? I look forward to the next revisionLuciahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06118556326737163882noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-26674331744263443722021-11-16T15:08:51.798-05:002021-11-16T15:08:51.798-05:00I'd like to know more about what this "ma...I'd like to know more about what this "magic shop" entails. What makes this novel "fantasy" seems touched on only briefly.Luciahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06118556326737163882noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-15219048736573749132021-11-11T21:15:11.484-05:002021-11-11T21:15:11.484-05:00Legendborn might be a good comp title for this one...Legendborn might be a good comp title for this one! (It's YA, girl discovers magic powers at an early college program)Elizabeth Wighttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03330422589662475737noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4812909700950069050.post-14139086654832540422021-11-11T14:46:59.908-05:002021-11-11T14:46:59.908-05:00>> Anna Michaels didn't think one of her...>> Anna Michaels didn't think one of her new college experiences would be surviving an attempt on her life.<br />Okay, but here you changed it back to exactly what you didn't like in the first place -- burying the lede about the attempt on her life. <br /><br />Here's what I would write: College is supposed to be full of new experiences, but Anna Michaels didn't expect one of them to be surviving an assassination attempt.<br /><br />It's a little on the long side, but communicates all the information.theWallflowerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02986917144393617528noreply@blogger.com