#192-FTW

Dear QueryShark:


One week ago, Claire's cousin Dinah slit her wrists.

Five days ago, Claire found Dinah's diary and discovered why.

Three days ago, Claire stopped crying and came up with a plan.

Two days ago, she ditched her piercings and bleached the black dye from her hair.

Yesterday, knee socks and uniform plaid became a predator's camouflage.

Today, she'll find the boy who broke Dinah.

By tomorrow, he'll wish he was dead.

Premeditated is a 60,000 word contemporary YA novel. Chapters or a synopsis are available on request.

oh hell yes.  Send pages, send the entire manuscript NOW.

Here's why this breaks all the rules and still works:  

It's got menace in the very rhythm of the writing. It's short and not-sweet.  We know who the main characters are because she SHOWED us, not TOLD us.

And by god, there's nothing better than revenge for the New Year.

Yes, this breaks all the rules I've been yapping about, except the one that really counts: it entices me to read on.

Now, how the hell do you know if you've got something that breaks the rules but works?  First, you write something that doesn't break ANY of the rules.  You write a query that shows, doesn't tell. That's concise, and conveys what the book is about.

In other words, you write to the form of a query letter before you write something that ISN'T to form.

And you pay attention to rhythm.  More than anything else stylistically, it's that rhythm of good writing that's toughest to teach and learn.  When I'm editing manuscripts, I say the sentences out loud a lot. Hearing them helps me see where there are extra words, or too many beats, or misplaced beats.  It's very very slow editing when you are down to moving syllables in sentences, but it's what makes the difference between gorgeous writing and so-so sentences.