Segorian Anderson is an Idiot. But that’s fine with him. It’s a well paying job with no heavy lifting.
If you walked past Segorian, you’d forget him before you even saw him. It isn’t a magic power, he just has the sort of face his own mother could forget. She’s been trying to for years. But being forgettable is a job requirement for an Idiot.
No, he's not the Court Jester. He doesn’t wear motley (whatever motley may be), that's a different union. He’s the Idiot. In a Queen’s castle, wine spilt down the wrong dress can lead to a declaration of war. So someone unimportant has to be blamed for it, and that’s the Idiot’s job. He’s the Idiot that did it, for any value of ‘it’. Of course, as soon as he’s exiled-for-life out of the castle gate, he uses his back-door key and sneaks in. To wait for next time.
Everybody needs an Idiot. Queen Sonea of Peladon has Segorian.
But that's not all the job. Someday, something really bad will happen. Really, really bad. Badder than a bad thing on a very bad day with extra badness. When your Top Guns are more Top Gones, when the world’s about to end (or the washing up won’t get done – whichever comes first), who you gonna call? No, not them. They haven’t been invented yet. You call the Idiot, so you can risk someone nobody will miss if things don’t work out. And now Peladon has a case of dragon.
But the dragon may be the easy part. Segorian has woman trouble, and he’s the only person in the castle that doesn’t know it. Because to Segorian, women are an open book. The problem is, he never learned to read.
A COMEDY OF TERRORS is a comic fantasy of 51,000 words. The author has never saved a small country from a dragon. He is, however, both male and married and feels well qualified in the field of Idiocy.
My thanks in advance for your time and attention. As per your published guidelines I enclose ( whatever they ask for - the first five pages and a short synopsis) for your consideration.
This query breaks every rule I've yammered about in terms of content. Who's the antagonist? What choices does Segorian face? Who knows...and who cares?! Not me. I just want to read this. That is a query that works.
The SOLE purpose of the query is to get me to read your book. IF you can do that without following any of the guidelines, be my guest.
This is hilarious.
I'd read pages.
I'd pray they were good.