Book title: Force of Nature
Query word count: 2,059
Book word count: 111,866 (fiction, young adult, complete)
(city, state zip redacted)
(phone number redacted)
Hello Janet/Query Shark:
If this reaches your eyes, thank you. I’ve appreciated all the comments I’ve read about the work you’ve posted thus far. You offer an amazing service to new writers – even if you never review their creations.
I’d like to publish my novel, and have enclosed a synopsis and a query here for your review. Your comments would be greatly appreciated for the re-write process.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Synopsis, written by one of the characters:
Query (earlier in the book):
(End of query)
I’d be thrilled if you would read more of the book.
I'm not sure whether to laugh or cry here.
This isn't a query. This isn't close to a query.
Look at it.
It's a list of information about the book, including godhelpus the word count for the query. That's so far beyond useless information I just want to smack you with all previous 138 entries to the Query Shark and shriek, "DID YOU SEE THAT IN ANY OF THESE" particularly in the ones I said were good? No, no you didn't.
So, let's start out the new year with a refresher.
1. Don't put your contact information at the top of an electronic query. Put it at the bottom, under your name. If you're including pages in the real query to real agents, put your contact info below your name and BEFORE the pages.
2. A query is not a synopsis.
3. A query is not pages from the book.
Start over. Read the archives to see what works and what doesn't.