Thursday, April 17, 2008


Att: Janet Reid

FinePrint Literary Management

Dear Ms. Reid,

Letters From Inside is a completed 70,000 word romantic suspense manuscript about a troubled teenage girl and her mom’s struggle to find a calm balance between them. Jessica snags a convicted felon by corresponding as a pen-pal and forging her mom's signature. Linda Wheeler’s biggest challenge is about to begin and might prove to be more than the single mom can handle alone. But can she trust the newly assigned detective hell bent for justice?

what does "snags" mean? Did she marry him? Correspond with him? What's the challenge in that for her mother. Jesus himself calls us to visit prisoners. You haven't spelled out a conflict here, let alone explained why a newly assigned detective is hell bent for justice.

I'm confused.

Letters From Inside is about one man’s search for the perfect life, while another seeks justice, using whatever means necessary. As Jessica falls deeper into the life of delinquency, Tom and Linda join forces to save her from the fire. But the real threat of deceit hangs between them when Linda discovers she was the flame all along.

Wait I thought it was about Linda and Jessica? Who's the one man searching for a perfect life? Delinquency? Fire? She's writing letters!

The real threat of deceit hangs between them when Linda discovers she was the flame all along doesn't make sense to me. Quit trying to be all metaphorical and just SAY what the plot is.

I’m an active member of Romance Writer’s of America and my local chapter, Mid-Michigan RWA. I’ve had short stories published in “A Hint of Seduction” and “Woman for Woman” and “Romantic Short Love Stories.” I’ve also published articles in romance newsletters associated with RWA.

I don't know what any of those publications are. Of course, I don't work in romance much, so perhaps a more knowledgeable agent will recognize them. If you're querying widely it will help to give a bit of reference such as "A Hint of Seduction" (the NYC Firearms Club Quarterly)

Should you be interested, I would love to send you the completed manuscript. I look forward to hearing from you.

Never say should you be interested. It's bad salesmanship. Always assume yes. Always. It's just a way of looking at the world, not even a tactic, but you need to be a half full glass kind of person to be in publishing.


1 comment:

Casey said...

It actually sounds sort of like the TV show Dollhouse, what with the detective wanting to get justice with whatever means necessary.