When Jewell Layne’s twenty-year marriage ended, she vowed she would never be beholden to another man. Five years after her divorce, the brash, forty-four-year-old, six foot blond is living in the lap of luxury—and she is still being expected to provide sexual favors to the judge who handed her a biased property settlement after conveniently arranging for some incriminating photographs to be lost on the day of her divorce proceeding.
Incriminating photos of whom? It may be obvious to you as the writer, but it's not to me as the reader. Also, if she's so brash and determined, why hasn't she marched down to the local Bar Association and filed a complaint? In 1996 people don't get mad, they get lawyers.
This difficult relationship provides the backdrop for a series of transgressions in which envy, jealousy, greed, and Jewell’s prurient urges puts her in harm’s way, tests the boundaries of her relationship with her best friend, and subjects her to the judge’s wrath.
Series of transgressions? Against what?
Prurient urges? Prurient implies deviant.
Judge's wrath? I thought he was the bad guy?
I'm sorry, I find every single one of these characters repellent. I don't want to read about them, I want to Purell my computer screen.
You can write about this topic all you want, but one character has to be compelling and interesting, and likable.
After persuading her new neighbor, who is a professional photographer and a member of the Fort Worth Black Chamber of Commerce, to photograph her in her townhouse while his wife is out of town, the consequences of Jewell’s earlier follies will pale in comparison to the price she, her neighbor, the race-baiting judge, and a third man will have to pay when Jewell becomes emotionally involved with her neighbor and her explicit photographs are discovered by her neighbor’s wife.
What does his membership in the Chamber of Commerce have to do with the plot? Whose wife is out of town?
May I send you a synopsis and sample chapters from my complete at 80,000 words manuscript? Thank you for your time. I look forward to your reply.
Automatic rejection on this one.