Dear Query Shark
A job interview at Southern Georgia University is great news for Tyrinn Mack, but his boyfriend believes this opportunity could ruin their relationship. After a heated discussion about their future, Tyrinn tries to find a happy medium between his post graduate plans and his love life. Inadvertently, his search leads him to a former flame. Their reconnection instantly reminds Tyrinn of their steamy past and the reasons why their friendship fizzled. He knows what they had was amazing, but it’s also history. Tyrinn has a boyfriend now, and regardless of their issues the relationship is solid. But a sudden kiss stirs up old feelings and the truth Tyrinn can no longer avert.
BEFORE YOU TAKE FLIGHT is a 93,000 word gay fiction novel set in a small college town in Kentucky.
Thank you for your consideration. I look forward to hearing from you.
"fiction novel" is an instant rejection no matter what. It seems like a small stupid thing doesn't it? Well, words are your tools (I've said this before) and I look for writers who know without even thinking about it that fiction and novel are redundant. You can certainly write it, but you'd damn sure better edit it OUT of your query letter.
You've also used "avert" oddly. This is one of the things I watch closely in queries. You can do all sorts of nutty things but if you WRITE WELL, and that means using words with precision, I'll read your pages.
Now, if I hadn't hit "auto reject" for those two things, I still would have rejected it because you don't make this novel sound very compelling. It sounds like a police report. Well, ok, not quite, but it's pretty bland.
A query letter is enticing. Vivid is good. Compelling is good. Avert your beige sensibilities and give us intimations of fire!